Broke up should i call her

It's going to make the decision of whether to contact her much easier. As you may have read thousand times in relationship related articles, contacting your ex girlfriend is not a wise move. Just like a newly burnt scar, you have to wait until it calmed down before touching it. The same thing goes with your ex girlfriend. Both you and she have to gone through a post breakup pain on your own. Even if you insisted on staying friends with her after the separation, there has to be bridge between romance and friendship.

So during the week — or even a month — after breakup, you have to disappear completely from her life. Within the time you may feel the urge to call or text her because you miss her, but you have to fight it. Giving personal space after a breakup is the best way to maintain a healthy relationship in the future.

Like, on her birthday? How could it be? Her birthday after the breakup could be the worst birthday she has ever had. How would you think she will take that as? While you meant to try making friends with her, she took it as a signal of you wanting to get back together again.

Be tactful enough to read situation, is texting her happy birthday the right thing to do. But if she seems to have moved on and both of you agreed to stay friendly, you may congratulate her as a friend. I ask him if he wants to work things out and he says no. Hoping that the indifference will kick in soon! I think my ex is a narcissist, we have a son together. He disappeared when my son turned 1.

I sent him pictures of his son and kept contact with his parents. We got back together when my son was 7. It was good at first and although was not as loving as I expected him to be. He moved in with us from this May to July and it was a horrible exp I got pregnant we were always fighting and our son 10 always fled to my moms place. End of July he said he was leaving and needed to go back to his town. We had a huge fight I kicked him out and broke my window and I called the cops.

I suffered a miscarriage two days later, he called and said he was relieved and I dont know if he meant it or just to hurt me again. Anyways stupid me when we went on our summer vacation I had his glasses and he came to my not his daughters apt and I as soon as I saw him I broke down in his arms. I left with him and we spent a few days together but it wasnt the same, I was crying alot prob of the miscarriage. Eventually my vac ended I said goodbye but only a month later I texted him a pic of our son wanted to share with him a proud moment.

We still text and not as often though but he knows he lost his control over me. He says miss you or love you but I feel like he doesnt really mean it and it does not give me butterflies like before.

I now know I was with a narcissist and he prob thinks hes was the victim. If I miss him, yes I do, I miss the father who I wanted him to be which he will never happen cuz he lacks empathy. I am sorry that I let him hurt me again and this time to the depths if my soul because he left me alone again when I was pregnant and when I lost the baby.

If i think hes sorry maybe he is or isnt but I dont care. Thank God I have a great job and almost left it to be with him. My bosses are great and supportive. I am an online university student part time and still passed my two courses while all this happened.

I know I am stronger and braver than I give myself credit for. I am moving forward and my son seems happier and my colleagues say I got my smile back. Your blog I felt like you were right der, your words are so true?? Thanks Iza xox. Iza, thank you so much for sharing. You ARE stronger, braver; more capable, resilient and beautiful than you even know. What do I do if my ex, the one who broke up with me, keeps texting me? I wish that I could help, but I have too much to say to type it all out and not enough hands to type or hours in the day.

This is why I cannot give specific advice in the comments. I do offer one-on-one coaching if you are interested. Thanks for your blog! Loved this article which I found at exactly the right time. He texted me, called me then when I texted him he ignored me. Thanks for your wise words. Everything is spot on. Thank you Natasha, truly. I miss him very much but I am stronger than I believe. Hi Natasha- thanks so much for your blog. I got involved with an emotionally unavailable man for a few months, actually as a rebound from a 7-year marriage.

I then made the terrible error of drunkenly texting him I missed him about two weeks ago, never heard back and the only good thing is I have had the strength not to contact him. I am so glad I read this today. You rock I hope you know that!! I was in a close friendship almost a relationship with a man I have known for 10 years. We only became very close over the last year. We talked all day, every single day for a year.

He has some issues with communication and being overly guarded which I confronted him about because it was bothering me. I said to him that i was willing to be patient and work with him on that. Anyways, 4 weeks ago, we got into an argument about it and he stopped responding to my text messages that very same day. I texted him back days upon days and said some harsh things out of anger from his non-response.

I continued to text him and pleaded, begged and apologized times for 10 days and got no response after which I stopped. After about a week, he text me back and asked me if he was blocked. I said no. I said it would be hard for me to just be friends. I sent him a long text apologizing again and telling him i would not be reaching out to him again.

Do you think he will contact me soon? This is why I cannot give specific advice. My ex and I broke up a few times but usually always still sent jokes and texts here and there and got back together. When together we texted from first thing in the morning until bedtime. And boy did we get along and I never connected like that ever!!! Hope I made sense. These things are difficult to explain as you all know.

Even when I was grocery shopping for us, we still talked on the phone or texted. This is awful. I want to text him. I want to call him. I keep re-reading the posts on this blog to stay strong because the fact is, he still chose the memories of his ex over me. I know my Ex is awful, he got engaged to another woman while I was pregnant and hurt me beyond words. He even abandoned me on my labor bed to deliver our child just to go be with her.

They bought a house together, have a new born and very happy. My son is 15months and I have to raise him as a single mother. My ex was both emotionally unavailable and a narcissist. I lurk on his page and social media and then beat myself up wondering if I accidentally lurked with my account and that he saw my name watching him and giving him control again.

I am so happy and honored that the blog has helped! I wish that I had the time to advise in the comments and go into the kind of depth that I want to in my replies thank you for your kindness and understanding. I wish I had the time to write more. Love you sister. Where did you come from? I have no adjectives for your blog. Your blog was the only thing that got through to me.

My ex kept contacting me, and I kept responding with the hope he saw the light, but it was I that needed to come out of the darkness. This guy invited another woman to go on vacation with him while were still involved, so I broke up with him, but allowed myself to be friendzoned which was pitiful.

The realization that I was friendzoned hurt more than if I had gone no contact on my white horse. Thanks for making my day! Thank Natasha. DO: Think over what you want and why you want it. Take time to consider your feelings and the reasons for your decision. Be true to yourself. Even if the other person might be hurt by your decision, it's OK to do what's right for you. You just need to do it in a sensitive way. Think about what you'll say and how the other person might react. Will your BF or GF be surprised?

Or even relieved? Thinking about the other person's point of view and feelings can help you be sensitive. It also helps you prepare.

Do you think the person you're breaking up with might cry? Lose his or her temper? How will you deal with that kind of reaction? Have good intentions. Let the other person know he or she matters to you.

Think about the qualities you want to show toward the other person — like honesty, kindness, sensitivity, respect, and caring. Be honest — but not brutal. Tell the other person the things that attracted you in the first place, and what you like about him or her. Then say why you want to move on. Think of ways to be kind and gentle while still being honest. Say it in person.

You've shared a lot with each other. Respect that and show your good qualities by breaking up in person. If you live far away, try to video chat or at least make a phone call. Breaking up through texting or Facebook may seem easy. But think about how you'd feel if your BF or GF did that to you — and what your friends would say about that person's character! If it helps, confide in someone you trust. It can help to talk through your feelings with a trusted friend.

But be sure the person you confide in can keep it private until you have your actual break-up conversation with your BF or GF. It's easy to trick yourself into thinking you might get back together if you keep texting your ex all the time and nothing really feels that different from pre-breakup.

But, as Wade says, that kind of short-term soothing can be harmful in the long run. Denying to yourself that the relationship wasn't working isn't going to do you any favors, believe me. However, if you start to live without their presence in your life, moving on can become much easier. Wade also says that the No Contact rule can help you move towards experiencing and transforming your grief as opposed to distracting and soothing. Doing so can then lead to a "let's be friends with benefits" situation where you and your ex then fall back into the dysfunctions of the previous relationship, Stephanie D.

McKenzie, a relationship coach , explains. Remember, you broke up for a reason.