Can i officiate my own marriage

At base level, you likely envision two members of a couple, and a third person the officiant presiding over the union. But, in some states, self-uniting marriage licenses give you the option of forgoing an officiant altogether. A self-uniting marriage license is a legal document that allows a couple to be married in the absence of a third-party officiant.

To help you navigate the process, we consulted experts Tracey Gordon, Lindsey Keenan, and Lisa Marie Chimento from the state of Pennsylvania, where self-uniting marriages go back centuries thanks to the state's strong Quaker roots. Read on for all the necessary legal nitty-gritty and planning know-how, plus tips and ideas for making your self-uniting ceremony feel extra unique.

Meet the Expert. Quakers are members of the Religious Society of Friends, a branch of Protestantism that split off from the Church of England in the s. To escape religious persecution in England and later in the Massachusetts colony, Quakers established communities in the Delaware Valley. This included present-day Pennsylvania , which was founded by a Quaker scholar named William Penn. In contrast with Protestantism, Quaker weddings happen without much pomp and ceremony.

Couples who wish to marry present their intent to their meeting, or congregation, and then, on a selected date of worship, they participate in the silent worship of the meeting until they feel moved or called to declare themselves married.

As religious freedom became a founding principle of the United States of America, so followed the freedom to marry as one deemed fit. In modern years, several U. Self-uniting marriage licenses can be legally obtained in eight U. That said, requirements and stipulations do vary by state, and sometimes even vary by counties within a state.

California and Colorado do allow for proxy marriages, and therefore proxy marriage license applications, in certain circumstances. The pandemic has drastically altered how many of these offices conduct business, so be sure to check their website for new operating procedures first.

The cost of a self-uniting marriage license will depend on where you get it. Not all marriage bureaus accept credit cards as a form of payment for a marriage license. Be sure to bring cash or a check if necessary. Create a personalised ads profile. Select personalised ads. Apply market research to generate audience insights. Measure content performance.

Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. Having a close family member or friend officiate your wedding is becoming a growing trend among couples. It's particularly appealing to those who are not affiliated with a religious institution or prefer a secular ceremony.

But the job also comes with a lot of responsibilities and some tricky rules not the kind you can break. A wedding officiant is the leader of the wedding ceremony. They work with the couple to prepare materials for the ceremony and perform the marriage on the day-of. According to expert Natasha Anakotta, an officiant can expect to spend "anywhere from six months to a full year before the ceremony" preparing and officiating each wedding.

Meet the Expert. The upsides of getting a loved one or family acquaintance to officiate your wedding are plentiful: It's more intimate and personal than having a stranger officiate, it's less expensive than hiring somebody , and it's a very special way to include them in your big day. Read on for a complete guide to officiating, from getting ordained to writing the actual ceremony. As soon as the date of the wedding is set, you'll want to meet with the couple to discuss their ceremony expectations and review any registration requirements.

Plan ahead so you have extra time to allow for processing the paperwork or any delays," Anakotta says. If you're not already ordained, then you'll need to do so. There are many online programs where you can go through a fairly simple application process. Once you've been ordained, the next step in the process is to make sure all the paperwork and other legal checkboxes, if any, are checked off.

Some regions require that the officiant file credentials with the local court and others do not. For example, in California, it is not necessary to register, but in New York City , not only do officiants have to register, they have to appear in person at the City Clerk's office to do so.

Sit down and walk through the ceremony outline with the couple, as each will want something different. With religious ceremonies, there's a reasonably set pattern and format, but with secular weddings, the couples sometimes want to throw out the entire playbook. It's key to talk to them upfront so you can understand their vision for the ceremony.

Once you've figured out all of the deadlines, write them down. Mark up a calendar to outline when you need to have your documents by, when fees need to be paid, and when you need to have the couple's marriage license turned in.

As not only the officiant but, presumably, a close friend or relative of the couple, you're in a unique position to craft a personal and poignant wedding ceremony. Now that you've got a clear understanding of what the couple is going for, you can start writing an introduction and putting together the text that will surround the readings, exchange of vows, exchange of rings, and the pronouncement of marriage.

Just don't get too carried away with the reminiscing that you forget about the legal requirements. In Seattle , for example, a marriage is not recognized legally unless the couple declares during the ceremony that they take each other to be spouses.

As you write the ceremony, infuse it with sweet stories about the couple and heartfelt sentiments. You just fill out your marriage license differently than you normally would. That said, there are plenty of couples who know they want to have a small number of guests present at their self solemnized elopement ceremony, but they still love the idea of being able to marry themselves.

So if you want to self solemnize, go for it, whether or not you have guests present! In fact, out of all the couples I work with, more than half of them choose to have a self solemnization or self uniting marriage ceremony. Karie and Jared kept things very simple for their self solemnization elopement ceremony in the mountains of Colorado. Mackenzie and Jared did an amazing job of officiating their own wedding.

Similar to Karie and Jared, they also opted to not have any witnesses present at their self uniting marriage ceremony. In addition to sharing their story and vows, Mackenzie and Jared also brought notes from their loved ones along to their self solemnization.

They read the notes to each other before sharing their own personal vows and officially marrying themselves. Their ceremony was on the longer end, lasting about 30 minutes. You can find the blog post for their elopement here , if you want to see what their self uniting marriage ceremony looked like.

Unlike the previous two elopements I just talked about, Sophie and David did have their family present at their self solemnization elopement. They had one family member come up and say a few words and help with the ring exchange, but other than that, Sophie and David pronounced themselves for the first time and essentially acted as their own officiants.

Just like with Sophie and David, Amanda and Peter wanted their parents and siblings present at their elopement ceremony, but they still wanted to self solemnize. They had each member of their families come up and share words of advice and stories with them. And Amanda and Peter themselves actually decided not to read their private vows during the ceremony but save them for later. Instead, they read a poem during their ceremony, followed up by them pronouncing themselves married.

Take a peek at their self solemnization elopement here. My husband Ed joins me as we discuss all sorts of elopement topics, from the perspective of a couple who eloped too. And their story ended up going viral , sharing their intentions behind both their choice to elope and have a self uniting marriage ceremony. We wanted to start our lives together elevated from all the noise with the understanding that we only wanted to go higher in our lives from that point.

That mountaintop, and marrying ourselves without an officiant or witnesses, felt like the freest, dopest, Blackest, most revolutionary thing that we could do. And we were right…. So can a couple marry themselves in Colorado? Yes, and while self solemnization might seem confusing at first, self solemnized elopements are a simple and empowering way to get married. How many other people can you say that they married themselves and officiated their own wedding?

The steps for self solemnizing marriage in Colorado are straightforward and easy, so you can focus on getting married. As an elopement photographer who specializes in documenting intimate adventure weddings like self uniting elopements, part of what I do is walk my couples through the process of crafting their dream Colorado self solemnization ceremony.

Interested in working with me for your self uniting marriage ceremony? You can check out my pricing page to learn more about how I can bring your dream elopement to life.